Why can't they leave me alone for once? Is it such a fucking crime that I don't eat meat? My cousins only eat chicken and pizza and don't drink carbonated beverages, but does any of them get made fun of? No. Not one thing is said about them. But I guess it's because I take their crap and don't say anything about it that I get made fun of constantly. Agh, I hate them!
I was in a pretty good mood until all that happened. Now I'm glad I'm staying at my sister's house and she's not there. I couldn't stand her. Like my cousin and Sis were sitting there talking and my brother butted in asking about something they said. (I am #3, it's the grandchild order) Shelbs said "this is #1 and #2's conversation. Well, #3 could be in it if she chose to, randomly saying short comments" and I just walked off. I heard her say "why does she never pay attention to people?" I do, my dear, I just choose to ignore your petty bullshit.
Agh. Now I'm annoyed as fuck. My clothes should be dry in 5 minutes and then I can leave. I just hope Sis doesn't come back tonight.
I am a fat disgusting fuck. I can just feel the fat pour off my face, arms, stomach, and thighs. I absolutely cannot stand myself any longer. I figured that I wouldn't eat that much cause she doesn't have any food. oh no. I've been eating at work a lot and then grabbing take-out on my way back from things. I haven't had one healthy meal since I left Tuesday. And I can't go walking there. I don't really swim, I just lay out there a lot. Maybe I should just start doing crunches and not stop until I pass out. I am desperate. It looks like my blade and I have a date tonight :/
So..I will probably come back next Sunday, I'm not sure. My friend's party is going to be Tuesday 27th, so I may stay until Wednesday so I can go to that. Maybe not. I dunno. I just want to disappear.
Robert wants to do something tonight. I'm afraid that he likes me, I don't like him in the least bit like that. I may just tell him that I really don't feel like going out tonight. I STILL need to call Andy, I really want to see where things go with him. Probably nowhere, like all of my relationships. What is there to do with him though? I want to go see Farenheight 9-11 (sp?) but no one wants to go see it. Am I the only one on the planet that thinks Bush sucks and had plenty of time to stop 9/11?
And I fucking hate DSL too. It seriously disconnects every 5 mintues, give or take 1 minute.
Everyone keeps avoiding me like the plague or something. What, do I smell that bad? I tried to call J Wednesday night but she didn't answer, and didn't call back after I left a message either. I know she was out cause she was getting off work right as I left. Whatever.
And AM kept saying she'd call me back and then didn't. But now she's at church camp. How fucking hypocritical of her. She got pissed at me when I slept with Spencer and it didn't mean anything, just because she's the only slut allowed? She has slept with so many people, seriously, like 8 I think. I'm surprised it's not much much higher. And people know she's easy, that's why they try to get with her. She even came really close to fucking my neighbor. That's just crossing the line in my opinion. She does drugs, curses, has sex, yet is going to church camp...And no, her parents aren't forcing her.
I have a lot of pent up feelings don't I?
Finally my damn DSL is connected again.
Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004