I am okay now. Anxiety is taking over each day, and I can't bear to think about a week, let alone the 49 days that I have to attend until school is out.
Alrighty, I have a lot of things I want to get done tonight. I want to clean my room up, wash my sheets, finish ALL of my homework *gasp*, take a shower, and start reading my book. And go to wal-mart and get a paper diary finally (I need one with a lock! they dont seem to make them..). I know I can get all of this done if Shane doesn't come over tonight. But I would like to see him also. Oh yeah, we're officially going out now. He said "it was kinda gradual, u pick a date" lol, so I picked valentine's day, because that's when the last entry happened <3
I'm in a much better mood, for right now, as you can see. I hope this lasts because I hate feeling like the only way I can make it is to drug myself up 24-7. I've been avoiding calling DrC. I haven't seen her in over 1 1/2 months. And you know, it's been great not having to pretend and crap. Maybe if she calls again I'll have my mom tell her that I don't want to see her anymore. I sure as hell can't tell her that.
Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004