"..So here
I am
Don't know
how to
say this.
The only
thing I
know is
awkward
silence.."

canoeing - 06.26.2004//2:11 am

Oh wow, today was exactly what I needed. Jake, LA, AM, Brad, and I decided to go canoeing (that's spelled wrong..) I got so fucking burned. And drunk, don't forget drunk. And stoned. But really drunk. We all did good and didn't tip over until Jake and Brad decide to run into us over and over and AM freaked out and rocked the boat and we tipped over. Have I ever mentioned the fact that I am terrified of water that has living things in it? Yeah, well I am. So I freaked out and was crying and hyperventillating and it was bad. But hey, I warned them that I would. And it didn't help that I was drunk, or cut my knee open getting back in the boat. At least we could touch the bottom, or I really would have freaked out.

Afterwards we went back to Jake's house and cooked out, at like 11 at night. Then we sat around and had girl talk for 2 1/2 hours about everything, life, how things are so fucked up in our lives right now. It was great. But then Jon came over (yeah my neighbor) and then the guys from the party (the one i made out with several times) came over and it was odd. LA left, then Jon did, then I left. And here I am. Singing 'feelin like a pimp' in my head.

I know this all sounds stupid, but it was the best time I've had in a long while. I needed this to get my mind off of everything. But I said some things to Shane I shouldn't have. Like 'i still care about you and probably always will'. I'm a dumbass, I think we've all established this. And then I asked him if his girlfriend was moving and he said no, she's just gone for 8 months.

Ok the screen is starting to spin, I'm going to go. Goodnight!

<<< lost && looking >>>

Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004