"..So here
I am
Don't know
how to
say this.
The only
thing I
know is
awkward
silence.."

therapist!! - 05.08.2003//11:00 pm

Someone got proposed to tonight at work. And I started thinking about love and such. I want love. I want to BE in love. But I don't at the same time. Right now I don't want in a relationship because there's only 2 weeks of school left (can i hear an AMEN!) and that'd be pointless. But I want to be held and have attention. Maybe i'm an attention whore. Whatever. I want a guy right now that I can mess around with, but that doesn't care if I mess around with other guys like I do. Friends with benefits? No because enevitably one of them ends up falling in love and getting mad for not having all the attention and then it falls apart and you never speak to that person again.

And people this week, i didn't notice so many guys notice me. It's like BAM! everyone talk to Megan. Seriously. For instance, since Friday night, there have been Derek, Mikey, and Jonathan I talked to which I never really do. Then there is Matt, who seems to hug me every time I see him. Jesse has looked at me a lot this week (although I never noticed I see him so much...) and said hi a lot. and he commented on The Skirt saying if I didn't want people "doing that" then I shouldn't wear stuff like that and slapped me on the ass. Dee has commenced to liking me again, or so I'm assuming considering he's not only "holding my hand" a lot, he asked me to go to the movies w/him tomorrow but I have to go to Shay's house. Then there's Monday night with H. I love him to pieces! But yeah that's a whole BIIIG mess. sheesh. he's just an awesome friend and i've never really talked to him before monday night...

<<< lost && looking >>>

Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004