They sent her home today. There's just one little catch: she had to take Hospice with her. That's it. No more doctors. No more blood work checking up on her cancer counts. No more meds. No more walking. No more chemo and no more radiation and no more anything.
I keep thinking that she's going to get better like all the other times. I don't want to give up on that hope. But I know she can't now. Not this time. Not without chemo and radiation and all the meds. I guess she did good to live with cancer for over 6 years. At least Kels is a little older now. Not that that ever makes anything easier, but it will make it easier on my uncle.
She looks so awful. It's so gross. She doesn't even look like herself. If I didn't know it was her there I probably wouldn't believe that it was the same person.
Even thinking about this I cant think she's going to die.
I wonder how it feels to die. Slowly and painfully like that. Knowing that something is eating you inside and there's nothing you or anyone else can do to stop it.
Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004