The funeral yesterday was quite lovely. It was very short. I don�t remember my great grandparents� funerals to be like that. They played 2 songs, read the announcement thing that they put in the paper, played another song, talked for about 5 minutes on her life, and that was it. Then the family got to go up and see her. She looked so fake, yet so peaceful. She really did look great though. It was like she was made out of wax or porcelain. At the end my uncle and cousins and her mom got to see her. Ilene went hysterical, and so did S.
There were so many beautiful flowers there. My uncle said she would have loved it. She loved flowers so much. When she was in the hospital the last time she made my uncle bring them to her so she could smell each and every one of them. And she would have loved all the people. She had so many friends. It didn�t make it any easier.
The grave was okay. It was a pretty day with a nice breeze there. Lots of people showed up for that also. It would have been the ideal lovely funeral, if it hadn�t been someone I know. Which made it suck that much more. The ladies at church made a dinner and we went there afterwards.
My g-ma is doing slightly better. I guess. So everyone says. They finally told her about my AD yesterday. Well, my g-ma said �bill isn�t here because AD died� and they said yes.
I went from that dinner to band last night. That sucked. By this point yesterday, I hadn�t had any time to myself and I hadn�t really cried. I held it together long enough to find Sarah. She is such a best friend. The kind that doesn�t matter if you get tears on them as long as you feel better, that�s when you know you have a true best friend. Really I was fine after that. My mind was occupied on other things. Ally told me to go home and that I could catch up later. What was I supposed to do, stare at the ceiling in my room all night?
Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004