The thought of waking up in the morning is just too hard sometimes. I�m thinking of suicide more and more often. Not killing myself, but something just accidentally happening, you know. Accidentally on purpose. I�m starting to scare myself. When I�m driving around, I wonder how bad it would be to run into another car, or off into a tree. Trees are so appealing to me now. I think about all the knives in the house, and how great they would feel being pressed against my skin. That one little sting and then no more. I think about all the pills in our cabinet. How many would I have to take to not wake up? Pills are so fucking easy to swallow, too easy. And you never know just how many you take.
I would like to the the world to go fuck itself. I�m done with all its society bullshit. Shove it up your ass.
I told shane that I am so cold that I wish I would die. He said �nope, no killing of you� I said �please�. If only he could hear the desperation in my pleas.
Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004