"..So here
I am
Don't know
how to
say this.
The only
thing I
know is
awkward
silence.."

unfinished business - 05.20.2004//6:59 pm

I really wish J would quit calling me and asking me to go hang out with her and M and Spencer. I don't want to be around the last two, cause I just cant handle that right now. But she really wants to go, and it's Spencer's party and she's buying alcohol for it, but can't drink since she's driving. I guess I could be nice and drive her there and home. I screwed up majorly the last time I drank, so no thank you.

It used to just be us two. Then M reappeared in her life sometime recently, and then they started hanging out with Spencer. And now I'm getting ditched more and more. last night we had plans, and she left with M so I just went home. I'm such a loser aren't I?

And now the thing that's got me saying "what the hell?" today. My neighbor Jon. I should explain first. This is what I thought of him: goody-goody, wouldn't have sex until marriage, didn't drink or smoke anything, didn't curse. The only thing I was right about was the cursing. Think of the one guy you know who you think is the perfect christian, and that's what I thought of Jon. And then last night he tells me that he smokes sometimes, drinks, and has slept with 2 girls.

Ugh, More later, mi familia necisitamos la computadora.

<<< lost && looking >>>

Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004