They're throwing a 50th anniversary party for her June 6th. I'm trying to get the courage to sing at it. They're putting it in the paper and the church bulletin plus sending out invitations..She doesn't think that hardly anyone will be there, but I bet so many people will be there that I won't get to see her but just for a sec. Oops, wrong diary for all this, sorry. I just hope I can get the courage to sing for her, she would absolutely love that, especially the song I have picked out.
I worked grad night. How pathetic. We were all supposed to roll for the first time, but it fell through so I got my money back and called J and hung out with her.
Still smoking pot pretty much every day. J and I are going to springfield Monday and Tuesday, spending the night up there, getting a quarter and 4 packs of cigarettes. I can't wait, we both need away from everything going on right now. Her guy is in Tennessee right now, probably fucking another girl. I know that feeling all too well...
[a friend of mine] is going to have an abortion tomorrow. Or should I say, another one. She's had so many bad things happen to her, but you'd think that she would. She's only 18, and she's already had one abortion, and found out that she has herpes, and now another abortion. I just don't understand it. i'd kill myself before I'd have an abortion (I know..weirdly ironic..). This makes me so sad, but I'm not supposed to know about it this time, so I can't say anything.
And AM, this girl worries me so much, you have no idea. She fucks random guys. I'm talking, she meets them the day before she screws them. it worries me, she's on guy #8 (in 1 1/2 yrs). When she stops her period it will be #9 and #10. She is going to end up with an STD. She's really going to screw her life up. But at least she got on birth control finally, after 3 pregnancy scares. She was doing so good, she didn't screw anyone for 5 months, and then I had sex and bam, she added 3 more guys to the list. It makes me so sad, but I can't say anything. maybe one day I'll say something. jake did the other day said "AM I'm disappointed in you, you shouldn't screw these guys" and she got pissed and shut up.
Why are all my friends messed up? Why can't I have a normal teenage life? NOOO, instead I have to be very screwed up in the head and friends that match. I'm emotionally drained. I'm sure I'll be back sometime.
Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004