"..So here
I am
Don't know
how to
say this.
The only
thing I
know is
awkward
silence.."

well this is nice..no really - 06.17.2004//9:46 pm

I can't walk up to him and put my arms around him, I can't say 'hey babe' like I've done for the past 2 years. I guess it's just weird. But I suppose I'll get over it, like everything else. But he was my first (for everything) love, and I guess he'll always be special to me, as I am to him (hopefully). I'm not sad any more, not at all. It's just all weird now. I hate the weird transitional stage. Like tonight AM and I were looking for someone to go to the movies with us and I couldn't just call him, odd stuff. Anyway..

Tonight was fun. I had practice until 11:30, it went okay, wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Then I went to the mall with Shay and her little sister. I got a pair of shorts and a shirt for $20, not bad. Then I got a bunch of stuff at Bath and Body works, like 7 things for $30, they're having a HUGE sale. After that I went home for about an hour and watched tv until my mom came home and wanted to go shopping some more. AM called right as I got home and she and her little sister (who is so very cool, 15) came and got me. We went to the mall and I got a bra and thong (for my new pants) for $15 at Victoria's Secret (yet another sale).

Then we drove around Dixon for an hour trying to find some guys to go to the movies with us, but we didn't see any. So we went to the movies and saw Shrek 2. I thought the first one was MUCH MUCH better than the second one, but that's just me, everyone else seems to like it. Then we went to TA and she asked for a 'cheesy cordida grunch' and asked them why about a million times. We were just messing around cause we knew it was Shane. Fun fun. Then she brought me home and I went to find my CD player at my g-pa's house, but it seems to have disappeared. And here I am. In a great mood, I needed to get out.

Tomorrow my brother leaves for his trip to the coast. He'll be gone 9 days (2 days before I leave YAY). So it's just me and my mom. We have a date for yard work, then I might talk her into going out with me. She needs to get out, her boyfriend just dumped her a week ago (asshole, they were pretty serious). I may break my not eating out thing if she feels like it. AM is supposed to call me sometime tomorrow night so we can hang out again.

I feel great right now. So happy with my life, and it's wonderful. Do I even talk about the trip? Or about the thong? I'll let you in on a little secret..

I've never shopped at Victoria's Secret.

Yes, a sad fact. So I got a pink bra for $10 on sale. And I got a thong for my pants I bought (see-through sorta). I've never owned a thong. Two firsts for me tonight. And when I get some more money I'm going to buy "love spell" from there, that scent is HEAVEN!

I won't even talk about the trip. I'll save that for another entry *collective sigh*. I love nights when I get out and do stuff. It's nice.

<<< lost && looking >>>

Closing the door, once and for all - 07.25.2004
random crap, and yes I suck. - 07.20.2004
fuck everyone - 07.18.2004
On Religion - 07.12.2004
Getting it all out - 07.11.2004